Academia

I feel so lost without learning, my brain feels static, I need to create, to think in order to breathe. I don't think that I will ever be happy in just a job, my mind is too vivid and alive to not absorb. Creativity flows through my veins instead of the blood that should be there, my imagination runs riot, yet it never becomes free. It lands in dreams, waking me up with a short sharp shock, rather than flowing onto paper, into words, into storyville. Instead I describe, disjointed and interesting snippets of what I observe.

Autumn is drawing to an end, the bright beautiful red, golds and greens, fade to yellow and brown. Blue sky becomes grey, day becomes never ending night and the cold draws in like an unrelenting menace. The breath from my lungs becomes a patch of vapour, trailing like the smoke of a dragon from my mouth, t-shirts turn to warm cozy sweaters and evenings become internal, sitting under a blanket rather than running in the park. Winter becomes oppressive, until the first snow fall when the world becomes bright and inviting, no matter how cold. People change when the snow falls, they dash like children into drifts, they skid and slide, they make snow angels and remember what is like to be young. Why can't we experience this freedom all the time? why must it be something as mundane as the weather that controls our inner child? The world needs to take a step back and just once, every day indulge in something childlike and wonderful....throw caution to the wind, skip down the street, run with your arms flaling, be carefree, kick a few Autumn leaves, whatever it takes to remember that your not just an adult but something that has grown and experienced. Remember the happiness you had playing games in the park, pretending you were someone else, remember what it is to bond like a child. Maybe then this world would be a different place, somewhere to enjoy. I want to do more than observe, I want to live, I want to enjoy. Today I am going to skip through the shopping mall, singing, eating ice-cream, and I am not going to care what people think.

Dissidence

It hurts, it hurts to know that people who dedicate their lives to others are killed by this dedication. It hurts to know that people who dedicate their lives to killing and hate live long and happy lives. The irony of life and death destroys hope, it causes pain and panic and confusion. Most of all it causes dissidence.

This world is a contradiction, this reality is wrong.

Duuuuude I'm blogging

Whoa, heehee my very first blog.......a good day in history :D

Sooo I had the weirdest interview yesterday. I didn't go there with great expectations but hell did I not expect it to be like walking into Rocky Horror Picture Show. Don't get me wrong, I love Rocky Horror. It's just the last thing you expect to see when you walk into the interview room is a 6ft 5 transvestite wearing the shortest fuschia pink skirt imaginable, combined with fuschia pink cardigan and 5 inch high heels. So getting passed the first obstacle it just got worse and worse! Someone had brought there really rather large and angry hound to work, which layed in the corridor pawing at people with a slight lilting drool that suggested, "I'm going to eat you". Then, the building, being in the worst part of town, you know that part that people tell you not to go to under any circumstances....was next to the train tracks. Not too bad you say? Hmmm every ten minutes a train would go by and the interview would have to stop, because we couldn't here each other talking. Aggggh!
Then I find out that the average age of the employees there is around 40, they even had a 78 year old woman doing their paper work. Is this really the kind of place that I want to become a trainee manager? I don't think so.

In fact do I even want to become a trainee manager? I mean I want piercings, I want tattoo's. People just won't take me seriously though if I get them, I will be destined to a life working in retail. Which I guess would be ok, if I owned my own place - a funky little coffee shop, where I could make my millions writing novels alongside the poets and dreamers that drank my coffee. Or maybe something a little more raunchy, a coffee shop attached to an adult store or something.

I dunno, I guess its back to the drawing board and back to the job classifieds for me.

Sin xxx